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HOW FOOD AFFECTS YOUR MOOD
Did you know that things you eat and drink can affect your mood? White sugar and white flour have been known since the 1970's to affect your mood (Sugar Blues). These items might be used to cope better after a difficult day at work, frustration dealing with children, or anger at your spouse. In fact, they are contributing to making you feel depressed which is not taking into account the guilt you feel for having consumed 350 more calories.
Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is said to be good for you in small quantities, otherwise you can find yourself on a sugar high with your heart beating fast or on a low mood swing wanting to sleep. This sets up a vicious cycle of eating to feel better and ending up feeling guilty. To avoid this, try these healthy food habits:
● Make sure you are eating 3-4 oz. of protein at each meal to keep you from being too hungry.
● Make sure you eat or drink your vegetables and fruit daily for more energy.
● Keep up with your dairy to increase overall health.
The temptation of sweet treats for a celebration may just be contributing to your feeling sad and blue. Consider these alternatives to food for celebration: A cup of tea or coffee with a friend, bowling (as long as you refrain from snacking), taking a nice walk, or a visit to a Museum or Art Gallery.
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LEARN TO LOVE YOUR ANXIETY
Anxiety is not fun!! If you have mild anxiety it probably is not causing you a lot of trouble, but if you have severe anxiety it could be the source of some major difficulties. David D. Burns, M.D. says in The Feeling Good Handbook: “Anxiety is the feeling of fear. It has to do with the future – you believe that some disaster is ready to strike at any moment.”
Since anxiety is the feeling that something bad is about to happen, it tricks your brain into thinking that you need to get rid of your anxiety. This is not really true. Anxiety goes away by itself if you “leave it alone”. If your anxiety is severe, this is a big challenge. You should first rule out physical illness then you can just relax and ride the anxiety out.
Calming yourself is often the first and reasonable response to anxiety. You might take a few deep breaths, think pleasant thoughts and reassure yourself that everything will be all right. When this works it is fine to use calming strategies. When it doesn’t work, it is time to use something paradoxical or counter intuitive.
Instead of trying to calm yourself you can welcome the anxiety. After you have gotten the reassurance that you are not physically ill or having a heart attack you can talk to your anxiety. You might say, “I know just what you are--anxiety. I know you can’t hurt me, so give it your best shot.” This has the paradoxical effect of calming you. You no longer stress over trying to get rid of anxiety. It turns out to be a powerful tool in regaining control of your life.
For coaching in using this and other coping tools contact Samaritan Counseling Center.
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Meditation
Meditation is an intimidating word to some, and an inviting and soothing word to others. There is some confusion among Christians about whether or not meditation is something we should embrace. And if we do embrace it, what should we do with it??
Meditation has slightly different definitions depending on who you are consulting, but for our purpose let’s just define meditation as a practice of quieting the mind and body and emptying one’s self as much as possible for the purpose of being filled with the spirit of God. (In more eastern traditions the goal is only to be empty, not to be filled at all.)
There are many benefits of meditation. It can lower your blood pressure, stabilize your blood sugar, promote healing, decrease histamine production and improve coping. Perhaps the most compelling reason to meditate is that it is a pathway out of our selfishness and consuming worries, preoccupations and fears. It is a pathway to transcending self.
How do you meditate? It is a very simple process, yet sometimes challenging because it is not common in our culture.
1. Sit. You should sit in an upright position. Lotus position is not required. You should be comfortable.
2. Breathe. A deep breath or two should calm you, then breathe in a relaxed natural rhythm.
3. Focus. Think about only one thing. (Suggestions: Your breath, peace, love, Jesus.)
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RECOGNIZING MENTAL ILLNESS
When our thinking is confused or we find ourselves acting out of character we may think, ‘I’m going crazy’. However, individual
instances of seemingly irrational behavior do not a mental illness
make. The signs of mental illness come on gradually, are quite persistent and, if untreated, can be severe.
Some indications of mental illness:
-Fears, worries and anxieties that persist and interfere with daily
functioning.
-Mood swings.
-Angry or explosive outbursts.
-Inability to cope with daily activities.
-Withdrawal from normal activities, friends and family.
-A change in eating habits.
-Unusual behavior or a change in regular routine.
-Refusal to admit to a problem.
-Suicidal thoughts or threats.
-Evidence of poor judgment or mental confusion.
-Excessive alcohol and/or drug use.
-Delusions or hallucinations.
Remember:
Mental illness is not something a person can get over by himself.
Mental illness is treatable with counseling or medicine and in some cases both.
Mentally ill persons are usually not violent although in an acute episode they may be destructive.
Mental illness responds better to early intervention rather than waiting until the situation is beyond control.
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THE SEVEN TASKS OF MARRIAGE
Healing and growth are assisted by healthy relationships. Caring is essential for curing, and the support of others is a key ingredient in any person’s development. For married persons, a healthy marriage relationship has an important impact on the physical and emotional well being of both persons. A good marriage is good for your health! With this in mind, consider the “Seven Tasks of Marriage” (from The Good Marriage: How & Why Love Lasts by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, Houghton Mifflin Co (N.Y.), 1995)
(1) Invest fully in marriage . . . by giving an emotional priority to this relationship over all other relationships.
(2) Build togetherness . . . by creating oneness of purpose and action while still respecting each other’s autonomy.
(3) Create a safe place for anger and conflict . . . by developing ways to respect and resolve differences of all kinds.
(4) Strengthen the marriage in times of adversity . . . by confronting and mastering changes and challenges as they come rather than waiting until they threaten the relationship.
(5) Establish a rich and meaningful intimacy . . . by protecting the relationship from the stresses and strains of work and family.
(6) Provide nurture and comfort to each other . . . by depending on each other, by sharing interests and friends, and by continually encouraging each other.
(7) Commit to children or others who depend on you as a couple for care . . . by giving these relationships a priority only second to the relationship with each other.
The Samaritan Counseling Center is a resource for couples as they develop healthy marriage relationships, offering pre-marriage preparation and marriage counseling in times of challenge and conflict.
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SLEEPING
"If I could just get one night of good sleep, I'd be happy." How many times have you said or heard this? Sleep disorders occur for many reasons. You know you have one if you do not fall asleep in 15-20 minutes of hitting the pillow and do not wake up except for bathroom breaks and can go right back to sleep and sleep for 7-8 hours and wake up refreshed.
The inability to sleep well has many sources: worry, depression, anxiety, excitement, eating sugar or too much before bed are some of the most common. The last can cause heart palpitations that send us running to the hospital. Sleep deprivation is the biggest reason for accidents on the job. Most people are irritable and unproductive at home, school or work.
Solutions to the problem vary with each person. Drinking Sleepy Time tea or Chamomile 20-30 minutes before bed may help you relax naturally. Meditation and prayer, putting your worries in God's hands is a great way to drift off. If you wake at 2 am hungry, try some protein or dairy (meat, cheese, or yogurt) products in moderation before going to bed. Read in bed before you go to sleep, nothing too exciting that can't be put down. If all else fails, consult your doctor for new non-addictive sleep aids to retrain your body-clock for 2-4 weeks.
If your problems persist in keeping you awake you may have a common, treatable, mental health problem known as depression with anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seek treatment from your medical doctor or call Samaritan for counseling.
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IDENTIFYING TEENAGE DEPRESSION
Teenage depression is one of the most prevalent emotional disturbances among high school students. Teenage depression is more than a day or two of the “blues”. It is a continuing, overwhelming feeling of sadness and helplessness that interferes with the teenager’s ability to carry on normally. Teenage depression is extremely painful and debilitating, and because it often is accompanied by thoughts of suicide, it can also be fatal. Symptoms to look for in teenage depression that may indicate a problem that needs to be addressed:
- Change in sleep patterns: too much sleep or difficulty sleeping
- Changes in appetite: noticeable weight loss or gain
- Inability to concentrate
- Feelings of excessive guilt
- Feelings of hopelessness, sadness
- Withdrawal from friends and family
- Changes in activity: slowed movement, monotonous speech or unexplained agitation, fidgeting, pacing, and wringing hands
- Loss of energy
- A sudden drop in school performance
- Outbursts of shouting or complaining, unexplained irritability
- Neglect of personal appearance
- Crying
- Aggression: refusal to cooperate, antisocial behavior
- Use of alcohol or drugs
- Complaints of aching arms, legs or stomach when no cause can be found
- Perception of being ugly when not
- Loss of interest in activities
- Feeling that life isn’t worth living: recurring thoughts of death or suicide
- Risk taking behaviors
If a teenager is experiencing a number of these symptoms, call the Samaritan Counseling Center 607-754-2660.
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WORKAHOLICS AFFECT EVERYONE
Yes, it's true, workaholics are missed at home by their wife and children, as much as this addiction does a disservice to the company, organization, or group in which they work. Bryan Robinson, a retired psychology professor, states, “Workaholism is an addiction that harms the addict and those around them.”
How could a workaholic do a disservice to the company? Being a workaholic has been linked to sleep disorders, heart attacks, and strokes. Workaholics can be impatient with other's work, rarely delegate so no one else will learn to do his tasks when he has a heart attack, imposing pressure-filled deadlines affecting office morale. These and other signs of a workaholic are in Robinson's book “Chained to the Desk.”
In my practice I see many marriages having problems because the husband and wife have only one day a week or less to see each other due to their schedules, extra jobs, and some being workaholics. I find the children remember that Dad or Mom never seemed to have much time for them and care more about this or that than the trip to Disney once a year.
Look at your work/life schedule and see if it includes time to take care of yourself, your family, and friends. How much time do you spend on the hobby you say you are passionate about? When life gets too overwhelming to sort out your priorities come to Samaritan--we can help.
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When I Feel Like a Failure
“If God wanted us to be perfect, He would have made us angels but he chose to make us human beings, with faults, character defects, warts and all.” I often say this statement to my clients when they think they are failures.
Do you find you are berating yourself for every failure you ever had: not finishing school, losing a job, failing in a relationship? Research shows that we gravitate to negative thoughts about ourselves rather than positive ones. We often beat ourselves up emotionally or put ourselves down without even realizing it.
When you feel like your whole life has been a failure, one of the things you can do is list all the successes you have had. This means all the badges you earned in Scouts, all the friendships you have had, all the grades you got that were C and above, and all the compliments you received on how polite your children were at someone else’s house. Include all times you were praised both as a child and as an adult for a job well done. Don’t leave out all the thanks you received from neighbors and friends for kind deeds and even the God Bless You’s when you’ve sneezed. If you count them all you will see your life indeed is not a failure—you have done some things well.
Writing a grateful list is another way to shift your focus from negative thoughts. Listing all the things in our lives we are thankful for reminds us above all, we have God who loves us and cares for us and is willing to listen.
“Keep in mind that our community is not composed of those who are already saints, but of those who are trying to become saints. Therefore let us be extremely patient with each other’s [and our own] faults and failures.” (Mother Theresa)
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The Samaritan Counseling Center
202 East Main Street Offices in Owego & Windsor
Endicott, NY 13760 By appointment only
607-754-2660 Toll Free: 1-877-825-0678
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